Nobody enters a marriage expecting to “fail” at it. However, almost 50 percent of marriages end in divorce by the 20-year mark. And of course, no divorce is sweet or easy. People lose their homes, comfort, security etc. However, there are some strategies that can help you make your divorce a lot less stressful.
The emotional aspect
No matter why your marriage is ending, there will still be emotional pain involved. Maybe you’ve done everything that’s in your power to save your marriage, yet it still failed.
You might feel less worthy since you are feeling rejected and replaced if you are the one who’s left behind. Also, feelings of resentment and anger, as well as emptiness, can really affect and overwhelm you.
This is why you have to seek some sort of counselling that comes from a party that is 100 percent neutral. It will help you deal with all your inner problems and worries.
There is nothing negative about lawyers and courts
While this part can be really stressful, once it is over, it provides a lot of tangible benefits to the whole divorce process. You and your partner are going to be legally relieved of your duties you had towards each other. Also, this way, you will limit your emotional attachments from making a complete mess. Consider the following:
- Make sure you are well aware of your legal rights. Knowledge can help you calm down and understand the whole situation much better. If you’re having trouble making sense of pertinent laws, many Sydney family lawyers will help you by simplifying the legal terms so you won’t have to face the challenges by yourself.
- Make sure you click with your lawyer – don’t settle for the one that doesn’t feel right in any way. Bad lawyers are only interested in sucking you into a war that will bring them a lot more money because the whole process is going to last much longer
Finally, you can always go with a lawyer-free divorce, however, this can be super complicated if you have children involved as well.
Divorce is an extremely painful and traumatic experience for children, especially if they are little. However, research shows that children can adjust to this within two years. On the other hand, children can experience a lot of problems if their parents decide to stay in a high-conflict marriage.
If you want to save your children from possible psychological and social problems, it would be best to keep them away from your conflicts. It Is often helpful if parents present the whole situation to their children together, since they can benefit from having an honest conversation.
Also, a sudden change can be really hard on children, so instead of rushing to move out as soon as possible, give them a few weeks’ notice before beginning a new life in your new home, or before your spouse moves out. Last but not least, if you can, make sure that your child stays in contact with both of their parents.
Take it easy on your mutual friends
The common thing among all divorcing couples is that they usually make their mutual friends choose whose side they are on. If you don’t speak ill about your ex-spouse, chances are they won’t either. To ease the tension between all of you, reassure them that divorce was the best solution and that the two of you are still on good terms. Be mature and also understand that, just like your marriage, some friendships just aren’t meant to be. This can also seem like a huge loss, especially if you value them.
Remember that your broken relationship doesn’t define you
Give yourself some time to heal, avoid self-blame at all costs, find a way to relieve stress (yoga, meditation, martial arts etc.) and move on. Distance yourself from all aspects of your failed marriage and define rules about further communication and interaction between the two of you. In other words, try to stay professional, immediately put an end to conversations that threaten to turn into a passive aggressive match and never use children for anything between the two of you.
Be positive and remember: difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations.