How do you handle your temper when something upsets you? Do you throw things or do you yell and say things that hurt people’s feelings only to regret it once you calm down? It’s true, your anger manifests, the reality is your inability to handle situations calmly may be doing so much damage than you realize. Today, we’re going over seven temper tips to manage your mood.
- Identify What Situations/Circumstances Upset You.
The first thing that you need to ask yourself is what situation or circumstances that make you upset. Because until you identify what situations that get you really pissed, chances are you’re never going to be able to control it.
Once you identify the situations or circumstances that makes you really upset or lose control, then you can try to not or get yourself in those situations. Many people do not notice this but practising mindfulness really helps in taking control over our emotions, especially how we react to certain situations. If you practise mindfulness, you will be able to intelligently remove yourself from off-putting situations that could likely trigger your anger.
- Identify the Anger or Feeling As Soon As It Starts.
Determine the anger or feelings as soon as it starts because it does not normally build up right away when we get upset. The thing about us human is that our reaction over something normally starts at a scale of 1 and gradually increase fast and escalate quickly. But if you can identify the feeling that you get when you start to get intensely angry or upset, then you can logically deal with it.
Identifying the emotion when it first arises can help you do preventive measures to avoid further escalation. Because whether we like it or not, it is really this escalation that gets the situation way out of hand and out of control.
Remember, it’s ultimately about control and the person mainly involved in this matter is none other than you. You cannot always control the situation that life hands at you but definitely you can be the master of your emotions. Indeed, you can’t necessarily control how you react to certain things, but you can definitely control the escalation.
- Practice Relaxation Techniques.
We all encounter aggravating situations throughout our lives, ranging from minor inconveniences like traffic jams or an annoying coworker to more serious anguish, such as a loved one’s terminal illness. No matter what the cause, stress floods your body, and sometimes causes our inability to properly control the escalation of our anger.
Practising relaxation techniques is a great way to manage that escalation- whether that involves deep breathing exercises or saying something to yourself like “It’s okay, just calm down and think”. Giving yourself a little bit of time before you just react significantly increases the chances that your anger would not escalate.
- Think Before You Speak.
A lot of times, words can hurt people much more deeply and intensely than physical violence.
The mantra “Think Before You Speak” can be really hard to put into practice for many people as most of us tend to say horrendous things quickly when enraged. But once the issue is already out in space, many feel guilty about it that no matter how badly they want to take it back, it can no longer be undone.
During a heated argument, allow yourself and others involved some few moments to collect your thoughts before saying anything. Before you open your mouth, stop and really listen to what the other person is trying to say. Do not interrupt and let them finish so we can have a full understanding of the situation.
Keeping the argument clean and respectful can lead to a better relationship and mental health. Knowing when’s the right time to talk and listen really adds up to the quality of life we’re leading. Always aim for a calm and peaceful one.
- Get Physical Exercise.
Exercise and physical exertion are amazing in terms of stress reduction. If you find the stress building up and you don’t have a release well, this is when you suddenly explode emotionally.
Exercising has shown to improve overall health, productivity and sense of well-being. It releases your happy hormones such as endorphins that helps pump up the production of endorphins or your brain’s feel-good neurotransmitters.
- Talk About The Issues As They Arise.
When something upsets us, the tendency for most people is to not address it right then. The bad thing about this is that, if we don’t talk about it right away and just let it store in our pocket and when something else happens and I stick it on top of it, there’s a big possibility that you explode as you cannot take it anymore.
People often don’t realize this, but if we would simply have the conversation and address the issues as they arise, it never gets to that escalation point.
- Seek Professional Help.
Recognize when you need help and ask for it.
There are several anger management groups and professional experts, such as Brain Wellness Spa, that could assist you with the best treatment options for your anger management condition. If you are having a tough time handling and managing your anger or your emotions, it might be time to go speak to a professional because a lot of times we don’t have the tools in order to help ourselves alone.
Talking to people or our friends about issues sometimes just does not work out and you can’t get the constructive feedback that you’re going to need in order to effectively manage your anger and emotions.
Therapy is a good thing as it is an instrument. Don’t think of it as something negative. Keep in mind that people who take control realize that they have an issue to work out. Going out, seeking help and actively fixing yourself is an indication that you are a strong person because you realize there’s an issue that needs correcting.
Getting upset over something happens to all of us and that’s normal. But using this as a license to lose control and hurt the people you love is not. As much as they don’t deserve getting hurt, you of all don’t deserve it either.
If you think you have a bad temper and you’re already causing emotional injury around the people you value most, it’s probably time to reevaluate yourself. Consider seeking proper medical assistance before it creates irreparable damages.